Deployment.... *tears*

So soon, we looked at it at xmas and thought it was so far far away, now it will be soooo soon, course they keep changing the date knowing the military and their keeping the enemy on their toes... but why does it have to seem to encroaching... I have gone without having Bryce for a year before...twice actually and it just seems so hard this time with Finn and where we are located. I think if I were either back in Germany and able to take the strauss with Finn down to the haupstrasse and walk him allllll over downtown, to the castle and around the river bank then... I probably would feel better... what an environment to escape from... or to be closer to family. But Bryce wants a home to come back to and he wants to see me having a life and friends here. It would be easier here I think if we had the support system. I miss having Kel and Dean/mama and chris/aulbach and Maisha/larissa n purp, but we all seem to scatter to the winds when we all left Heidelberg. Here its just me and Finn. Course I know some folks but noone like in Germany, the friends who knew us, who didnt try to change us, who accepted and hugged when needed, or hauled my butt out of the house when it was most needed to get out and abouts for sanity sake. sigh. I do that alot now, sigh.

How am I going to make it a year without Bryce? I know I am going to cry. I did the other times and I feel it building up within me and its going to hit hard since there is so much to do before he leaves. showing me how to pay the bills, redoing our lease, cleaning out the garage so we can put his car up for year long storage... what you think I am touching his car? yeah lessons in stick driving is one thing but omg tara is not to touch Beemer.

For those who know Finn, he went to his "first day of school" well its what I am calling it. Daycare on military base, cheaper than on econ and if I am working at madigan hospital, closer to me. I applied for cna and surgical cna who I still need to take my clinical, pass that and pass the certification test later this spring. Finn loved daycare! I told the caregiver that she could speak any language to him, and Bryce got their to hear a story being read in spanish to the wee ones! yeah, brain stimulation. Spanish, french canadian and sign language would be useful. I think we like spanish and french but I am pushing more of sign and bits of german and japanese. studies show the earlier more language is heard the better the baby. I am sure both Finn's aunts will be using french on him and alot of his toys throw in spanish and I can work on learning the sign language.

long entry needed to get things off chest
Kisses